Stinker Madness - The Podcast for Bad Movie Lovers
TV & Film:Film Reviews
Boardroom Santa! Ever been really into the business of Santa? Have a passion for Operations Management? Got a degree in holly jolly marketing? Wear a tie with your pajamas? Well this movie is for you! Just not for anyone else.
For the rest of us Santa Claus: The Movie is about as interesting as a government made educational training video. Its just painfully boring. "Santa has a meeting with Jeff and Susie from accounting! Oh boy would I like to see that!" he said sarcastically. "The elves meet in the conference room for a call with the supply department! Wowee!!!!" he said while shoving his head in trash.
The antagonist (John Lithgow) seriously doesn't show up until the 60% completion mark which makes the first hour and fifteen minutes completely devoid of plot and then we he DOES show up it's a series of groan-inducing jokes and Santa being a mopey butthole because apparently he's the only one that can give toys to children for free.
Lastly, this film does an excellent job of showcasing what an awful person Santa (this version - not Santa in general you people about to accuse me of a war on Christmas) is. He is content to give starving children wooden toys instead of maybe food, or a home, or curing their diseases or stopping dictators from murdering their family or shoes even. Nope wooden toys is the only thing that children want - according to Santa. "Wait, they want things that aren't wooden toys?" Santa says at some point (paraphrasing). "But...but...then no one loves me! Boooo hooo hooo hoo" Ugh. You suck Santa.
Santa Claus: The Movie is only for people who care only for the pageantry of Christmas and not at all about the meaning of Christmas. It stinks!
The Gingerdead Man - Three key ingredients of murder cookies
Feeders 2: Slay Bells - Jeff Goldblum has nothing on Santa
Violent Night - Santa ain’t got time for your heist
Any Given Sunday Part 2 - Ghost of Football Awesome
Any Given Sunday Part 1 - Bring your gator to work day
Old - Nobody brought adult diapers!!!!!
Knock Off - WHOSE PANTS ARE THESE?
Snoop Dogg’s Hood of Horror - Blood and Beer Volcano!
Uninvited - CAT JUSTICE!!!!
Rock of Ages - Butt Rock in more ways than one
Perfect - Maybe the 80’s weren’t that good
Morbius - Just be bat-men, guys
3 Ninjas Kick Back - Kicked Out
Volcano - Stinker Madness Rerun
Hell Behind Bars - I’d rather go to actual prison
Drive - it ain’t about cars, but its about awesome
The Flintstones - Its a yabba dabba don’t time
Gone in 60 Seconds (1974) - I was gone in 20
Cannonball! - Or Belly Flop!
Shakedown - Dirty cops and human meat in NYC
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