Santa's Slay is exactly what the title implies. Santa Claus—played by WCW and WWE's Bill Goldberg—is big, angry, and not very keen on spreading Christmas cheer. Rather, he opts to spend the holidays igniting "Yuletide fear."
That's the movie. Literally, that's it. Santa Claus is an asshole, who's hell bent on revenge. Why? Well, he was only nice because he lost in a game of chance to an angel who just happened to be out wondering the frozen tundra.
I'd go deeper, yet there's no reason to. This is about Santaberg and is oh so wicked ways. He murders James Caan (no, that's not a typo) with a turkey leg; set's the nanny's hair aflame with some spiked eggnog; and—amongst many other grisly kills—he electrocutes a man with a stripper pole.
So if you get your jollies watching pro wrestlers in Santa cosplay murder people indiscriminately, then this is the movie for you.
So sit back, jackhammer a couple of Celebration Fresh Hop IPAs from Sierra Nevada, and avoid having Christmas dinner with James Caan! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Capt. Cash, Chumpzilla, and Mayor McCheese are wagering our souls on a game of high stakes curling!
This Week’s Segments:
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Dreamcatcher – A Bad Case of Alien Hemorrhoids
Wes Craven's New Nightmare – The Master Returns
Dukes of Hazzard – A Class-E Felony
Idiocracy – We've Got What Listeners Crave
Wild Wild West – So Many Spiders
Mallrats – Stay Off the Escalator, Kids
Hackers – Crash and Burn
The Big Lebowski – The Pod Abides
Warcraft – Bone Dragons for the Win
The Legend of Chun-Li – A Spinning Bird Kick to the Senses
Postal – Burn it All Down
Super Mario Bros. – Flushed Down the Warp Pipe
Congo – Smart Gorillas, Dumb Script
Orca – Death Fish
Con Air – Fly Hard
Howard the Duck – Party Fowl
Primal – Cage Exotic
Drive Angry – Coming Like a Bat Out of Hell
Vampire's Kiss – Cage Uncaged
Face/Off – Whee! What a Predicament!
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