"Okay! Who made this mess?" Your question is met with a chorus of "not me's" When and how do you get to the truth? First, how important is the mess? If it directly affects you in the moment, then it needs to be straightened first. Deal with the lying later. Whatever the timing, when confronting the Not Me-er, make sure you child understands his choices. If he messed up and owns it, you have a teachable moment. You active listen his upset, ask permission to offer counsel, and help him with corrective steps. He may also get a consequence for his actions. If he messes up and lies about it by saying "I didn't do that," confirm the infraction independently, and then give two consequences, one for the mess up an one for lying about it. Lying can double the trouble.
You Cannot Not Communicate
Dare to be Different in Active Listening
Kids Will Always Test the Limits
What You Say to Your Child Matters!
Maintaining Healthy Relationships
Kids Do Act Out, or Act In
Does your child steal?
When Trouble Comes Knocking
Is Your Child Having a Problem?
Don't Worry. Be Happy
Are You a Benevolent Despot?
How Do You Lead Your Family?
Launching Our Teen into Adulthood
Problems? How Can You Tell?
Tips for Family Stress Management
Should You Fight Your Child's Battles?
Correction with Time-Out
Parenting is Lifelong
Down Time, What A Blessing!
Emotional Fever? Active Listen
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