After a huge betrayal, it can be nearly impossible to come back to the center and find forgiveness. Some couples are ready to move forward and to forgive, but they keep getting stuck in the negative patterns of their betrayal, hurt, and distrust. Is there a healthy way to move forward? Should you even forgive in the first place? Dr. Jessica Higgins is a licensed Psychologist with two graduate degrees in psychology. She explains how you can move through these emotions and reach a place of repair within your relationship in this week’s episode.
TAKEAWAYS:
[2:00] A little bit about Dr. Jessica.
[4:55] How do you help someone find peace after a deep betrayal?
[8:45] There is no guarantee around not being betrayed.
[10:35] It’s a different feeling when someone shows up to the relationship with intentionally vs. passivity.
[14:00] How do you move a couple forward from being stuck in a place of anger?
[18:45] Would it be helpful for the addict to explain their childhood to their partner?
[23:35] When will the betrayed spouse forgive me?
[25:40] Some people feel like if they remain resentful, they’re teaching the other person a lesson.
RESOURCES:
Sex and Relationship Healing
@RobWeissMSW
Sex Addiction 101
Seeking Integrity
Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men
Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency
Out of the Doghouse by Robert Weiss
Drjessicahiggins.com
QUOTES:
“A lot of spouses are looking for a guarantee. What you’re doing [today] isn’t really real and I want you to prove it.”
“There is a part of me that really wants to trust you and feel like I’m not managing you.”
“There are 350 definitions of forgiveness. There are some nuances and it can be hard to pin down what you’re dealing with.”
Part 2: Voices of Hope For, and By, Women Who Have Been Betrayed
Part 1: Voices of Hope For, and By, Women Who Have Been Betrayed
Going to Therapy Doesn’t Have to Be Impossible with Jason VanRuler
Part 2: Porn, What’s The Big Deal? with Dr. Sandra Shachar
Part 1: Porn, What’s The Big Deal? with Dr. Sandra Shachar
BONUS: Why Should I Write Down All My Anger and Hurt?
BONUS: Am I Just Having Fun, or Is This a Full-Blown Addiction?
Discover and Connect with Your Own Inner Voice Again with Lucy Beresford
How to Heal After a Betrayal: Dr. Monique Thompson on Navigating Infidelity
Foundation of Hope: The 12 Steps Way to Healing from Trauma with Dr. Jamie Marich and Dr. Stephen Dansiger
Part 2: Couples, Conflict and Resolution with Dr. Stan Tatkin
Part 1: Couples, Conflict and Resolution with Dr. Stan Tatkin
Part 2: Sex + Porn Addicts Share About Their Healing Journey with Dr Rob, Larry and Jay
Part 1: Sex + Porn Addicts Share About Their Healing Journey with Dr Rob, Larry and Jay
Part 2: Support Groups for Adult Children of Alcoholics with Gary Seidler
Part 1: Support Groups for Adult Children of Alcoholics with Gary Seidler
Part 1: Religion and Spirituality in Recovery with Jason Swilling MDiv
The Road to Forgiveness with Dr. Rob Weiss
Part 2: Dr. Jessica Higgins: How Do You Learn to Forgive?
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