Dr. Rob speaks with two people in recovery, Jay and Larry, about their addiction and the type of damage it has caused their families. Jay and Larry also talk about why they felt comfort in their addictions and how their lives have been improved now that they are sober and aware of their problem.
TAKEAWAYS:
[2:25] Why did Jay seek help and go to treatment?
[4:15] Jay was frustrated that he couldn’t fix himself on his own.
[5:25] Larry shares his experience with addiction.
[6:05] Larry was so afraid of connecting with people, which is why he found comfort with porn.
[9:15] At first, Larry thought it was his wife’s problem on why they were having issues. It turned out, it was his addiction that was the problem.
[12:30] Why did it take Jay 45 years to seek professional help?
[15:50] Jay’s first therapist did not believe in sex addiction. She thought he was just a liar.
[18:55] Why did Larry keep telling his wife about the slips he had with porn? Why didn’t he just keep it a secret?
[21:15] Larry knew it was unhealthy, and Larry knew it was terrible, but he couldn’t stop.
[26:15] Jay talks a little bit about his childhood, and why he found comfort in sex with strangers.
[30:00] When Jay would travel, it would trigger him because he was so lonely and he wanted to act out to fill the void.
[32:35] Jay would try to use willpower for it to go away, but he just couldn’t sustain it.
RESOURCES:
Sex and Relationship Healing
@RobWeissMSW
Sex Addiction 101
Seeking Integrity
Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men
Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency
Out of the Doghouse by Robert Weiss
QUOTES:
“I tried to do this on my own, but it wasn’t until I got group therapy where I was able to get through my shame.”
“Just going to a weekly meeting wasn’t enough. It wasn’t working. I was in a state of denial.”
“I never realized what I was doing was part of an addiction. I thought I was just being a guy.”
Part 2: Voices of Hope For, and By, Women Who Have Been Betrayed
Part 1: Voices of Hope For, and By, Women Who Have Been Betrayed
Going to Therapy Doesn’t Have to Be Impossible with Jason VanRuler
Part 2: Porn, What’s The Big Deal? with Dr. Sandra Shachar
Part 1: Porn, What’s The Big Deal? with Dr. Sandra Shachar
BONUS: Why Should I Write Down All My Anger and Hurt?
BONUS: Am I Just Having Fun, or Is This a Full-Blown Addiction?
Discover and Connect with Your Own Inner Voice Again with Lucy Beresford
How to Heal After a Betrayal: Dr. Monique Thompson on Navigating Infidelity
Foundation of Hope: The 12 Steps Way to Healing from Trauma with Dr. Jamie Marich and Dr. Stephen Dansiger
Part 2: Couples, Conflict and Resolution with Dr. Stan Tatkin
Part 1: Couples, Conflict and Resolution with Dr. Stan Tatkin
Part 2: Sex + Porn Addicts Share About Their Healing Journey with Dr Rob, Larry and Jay
Part 2: Support Groups for Adult Children of Alcoholics with Gary Seidler
Part 1: Support Groups for Adult Children of Alcoholics with Gary Seidler
Part 1: Religion and Spirituality in Recovery with Jason Swilling MDiv
The Road to Forgiveness with Dr. Rob Weiss
Part 2: Dr. Jessica Higgins: How Do You Learn to Forgive?
Part 1: Dr. Jessica Higgins: How Do You Learn to Forgive?
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