Helen E. Fisher, PhD biological anthropologist, is a Senior Research Fellow, at The Kinsey Institute, Indiana University. She has written six books on the evolution, biology, and psychology of human sexuality, monogamy, adultery and divorce, gender differences in the brain, the neural chemistry of romantic love and attachment, human biologically-based personality styles, why we fall in love with one person rather than another, hooking up, friends with benefits, living together and other current trends, and the future of relationships-- what she calls: slow love. In this week’s episode, Dr. Helen shares how people fall into love addiction and why it can feel hopeless to find the right partner to spend your life with.
TAKEAWAYS:
[3:00] How did Dr. Helen become a sex expert?
[6:15] There are a lot of misunderstandings about how men and sex.
[8:10] What is love addiction? How is it different from sex addiction?
[10:00] Romantic love addiction can actually be very positive.
[12:20] What do you lose when you get rejected? An important partner to have babies with.
[16:45] How can couples celebrate sexuality?
[20:00] A good positive relationship lowers blood pressure, cortisol, and more!
[22:00] Romantic love grows quickly, but attachment grows slowly.
[24:00] How can we better help love addicted people?
[25:30] Covid-19 is a good time to find love?
[29:25] In Dr. Helen’s study with Match, 34% of singles have had sex before the first date.
[31:35] Women are getting married later in life.
RESOURCES:
The Porn Panic: Is Porn a ‘Public Health Crisis’?
Sex and Relationship Healing
@RobWeissMSW
Sex Addiction 101
Seeking Integrity
Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men
Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency
Connect with Helen: Helenfisher.com & Theanatomyoflove.com
QUOTES:
“Both men and women have some tremendously effective traits and we need to put our heads together, but to pretend we’re exactly alike is factually incorrect .” “When you’re madly in love with the right person, at the right time, with the right vision, is probably an adaptive mechanism to send their DNA into tomorrow.” “You’re threatened with genetic extinction when you’ve been rejected in love.” “People in long-term good partnerships, positive relationships, can live up to 5-7 years longer.”What Does Female Sex and Love Addiction Look Like?
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Part 2: Porn, What’s The Big Deal? with Dr. Sandra Shachar
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BONUS: Why Should I Write Down All My Anger and Hurt?
BONUS: Am I Just Having Fun, or Is This a Full-Blown Addiction?
Discover and Connect with Your Own Inner Voice Again with Lucy Beresford
How to Heal After a Betrayal: Dr. Monique Thompson on Navigating Infidelity
Foundation of Hope: The 12 Steps Way to Healing from Trauma with Dr. Jamie Marich and Dr. Stephen Dansiger
Part 2: Couples, Conflict and Resolution with Dr. Stan Tatkin
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Part 2: Sex + Porn Addicts Share About Their Healing Journey with Dr Rob, Larry and Jay
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Part 2: Support Groups for Adult Children of Alcoholics with Gary Seidler
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Part 1: Religion and Spirituality in Recovery with Jason Swilling MDiv
The Road to Forgiveness with Dr. Rob Weiss
Part 2: Dr. Jessica Higgins: How Do You Learn to Forgive?
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