Stefanie Myr is the head route setter, manager, and team coach at Climb Tacoma in WA. We met up in Leavenworth and talked about our similar upbringings in Christianity, why we both moved away from religion, finding “church” in the climbing community, confidence and self-belief, unique challenges as a short climber, being less certain and more curious, Stef’s polyamorous relationship with her husband and partner, compersion, honest communication, doing what you can to make the world a little better, and much more!
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Show Notes:
thenuggetclimbing.com/episodes/stefanie-myr
Nuggets:
0:04:05 – Miniature carpentry, and a gift for me
0:11:49 – Stef role at Climb Tacoma, and the gym as a core part of her community
1:17:19 – How she first got a job at Climb Tacoma, and having a diverse group of people on the team
0:20:16 – Stef’s unique financial situation, and the sustainability of working at a climbing gym
0:22:38 – Moving away from her Christian upbringing, and finding “church” at the climbing gym
0:25:09 – Our parallels with church music and moving away from organized religion
0:30:31 – Bullet point lists, and how the gym functions like a “church”
0:32:07 – Meeting people who changed the way we thought about organized religion
0:35:16 – Stef’s upbringing and programming, and not realizing she was bisexual until college
0:38:39 – Stef’s husband Julien
0:40:34 – Stef’s confidence, choosing Giant Man as an objective, and gaining something from every climb
0:46:17 – Frustration with height and grades, and needing to be V12 strong to climb V10
0:48:02 – My conversation with Nic Rummel about grades, and an announcement about the Patron show being on Spotify
0:51:19 – Sending Pimpsqueak V8/9 in Leavenworth, ABR (always be rolling), and why recording send videos feels important
0:56:02 – The power of seeing someone like you climb hard things
1:00:42 – More about confidence, embracing powerful moves, learning from coaching little kids, and unlocking pieces of the puzzle
1:08:18 – The moments that show you that you’ve gotten better at climbing, and Stef’s mountain
1:10:23 – Stef’s dream boulder in Goldbar WA, and other goals in Leavenworth
1:12:01 – How Stef got on The Nugget
1:21:52 – Self-belief, wanting to be good, and the power of affirmation
1:26:17 – Our brain’s reaction to negative comments, and how Stef deals with trolls
1:38:02 – The lawyer in my brain, and making people think differently by asking better questions
1:39:51 – Less certain more curious
1:42:47 – Stef’s polyamorous relationship, and why she wanted to talk about it
1:50:50 – Normalizing sex, and redefining cheating in an open relationship
1:56:18 – Equating sex and intimacy to love, how cool her husband is, and the story of how she came to be with her partner
2:03:22 – Jealousy, and honest communication
2:05:32 – Why Stef wanted to talk about her open relationship, and why people who are poly are not free-for-alls
2:09:53 – Bringing all of who you are to yourself as a climber
2:11:53 – Compersion
2:15:11 – The depth of her relationship with her husband before they opened their relationship, and the distinction between security and trust
2:17:53 – Marriage, and Stef’s future with her partner
2:24:47 – Double the love and laundry, and Stef’s life in a go bag
2:26:50 – Check-ins, RADAR, smoking weed, and “ask don’t assume”
2:32:23 – Double-committing, and learning to communicate her plans
2:39:18 – What Stef wishes people spent more time thinking about
2:41:10 – Make the world a little better
2:42:20 – My episode with Ethan Pringle about his dad, and the importance of airing out the messiness
2:47:35 – Stef’s sponsors
2:51:08 – Pursuing the child-free life, and final thoughts
EP 175: Ady Wright — The Pressure of Opportunity, Acts of Rebellion, and Eating Oreos for Breakfast
EP 174: Bernd Zangerl — Developing World-Class Bouldering in the Himalayas, Entering the Easiness, and the Power of the Mind
Follow-Up: Hazel Findlay — Top 3 Performance Hacks (Teaser)
EP 173: Louis Parkinson — How to Break Down Dynamic Movements, the Benefits of Indoor Climbing, and Cultivating Confidence
EP 172: Brittany Leavitt — Seeking Change in Climbing, Unmasking, and Top Lessons From Teaching Kids
EP 171: Leo Houlding — A Life of Adventure, Climbing Big Walls With Kids, and Epic Stories From El Cap
BONUS: Ron Kauk — Spiritual Revolution for Evolution
EP 170: Karly Rager & Casey Elliott — What the Data Says About Weight, Height, and Ape Index, and Which Metrics Matter for Climbing Performance
Follow-Up: Steve Bechtel — Active Recovery: Everything You Need to Know (Teaser)
EP 169: Scott Johnston — A Masterclass in Training Principles, and Why Boulderers Should Train Their Aerobic System
EP 168: Don McGrath — Rewriting Unhelpful Scripts, How to Tackle Fear of Falling, and Playing as We Age
Climbing Gold — Hot Henry
EP 167: Alex Honnold — Epic Solos That Nobody Heard About, Near Misses, and Sh*tting His Pants While Free Soloing
EP 166: Will Bosi — Sending ‘Burden of Dreams’ V17, Dream Projects, and Functional Finger Strength vs. Party Tricks
Follow-Up: Katie Lamb — Sending ‘Spectre’ V14, and Breaking Down Crux Moves (Teaser)
EP 165: Charlie Schreiber — Asking "Why", Squeezing Lemons, and How to Have a Good Poop in the Morning, Every Time
EP 164: Melina Costanza — Why Eating Food Makes You Awesome, Competing to Win vs. Not Lose, and Fun Facts With Melina
Follow-Up: Matt Heyliger — How I Rehabbed My Bicep Tendon Injury, and How to Make the Transition From Rehab Back to Training (Teaser)
EP 163: Johnny Dawes — Legendary No-Hands Climbs, How to Master Footwork, and Life Lessons From Omelets to Icebergs
EP 162: Fundamentals — How to Structure Your Climbing Year
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