Jan and Emily are in their thirties and recently bought a house. During the sales process, Emily discovered a $100k loan that Jan had taken out without her knowledge. To make matters worse, Jan admits he didn’t really have a plan on how to use this money to benefit their lives.
Emily is the higher earner and lets Jan manage their money, adding to the feeling of betrayal that she keeps buried under a calm exterior. They are both supportive and willing to do the work—but Emily’s fear is real and must be processed out in the open.
What happens in a relationship when trust with money is broken in such a profound way? How can you plan ahead or feel secure with your partner's decisions? It’s a path with obstacles, no doubt. Let’s see if we can help Jan and Emily navigate it.
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20. “My wife is going to divorce me unless I can stop being so cheap”
19. “My husband has been promising that we’ll buy a house in a few months… for five years”
18. "He's the man & he should pay. We can't go on like this any more"
17. “I think he should pay for everything because he’s the man”
16. “We’re worth $8 million but I comparison shop for strawberries”
15. “I have a $1 million trust fund and I’m scared to spend money on food”
14. “I hide my spending from my husband”
13. “I’m dumb with money and he’s making me feel worse”
12. "My husband won't talk about money with me"
11. “My wife wants to quit her job but I’m worried about money”
10. “Money is overwhelming so we find instant gratification elsewhere”
9. “I hid thousands of dollars of credit card debt from my husband”
8. “My wife is spending too much money”
7. “My parents keep expecting us to pay for them”
6. “We can’t afford to live in NYC, but my wife doesn’t want to leave the city”
5. “I paid off $50,000 of debt, but I still feel guilty buying toothpaste”
4. “My wife didn’t know I had $450,000 of debt until yesterday”
3. “My husband is going broke, but he won’t let me help”
2. “We’re worth $1 million, but we're so cheap, our friends don't want to see us anymore”
1. “My husband doesn’t trust me to run our business”
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