f you don't tell me to do it, then it is your fault that it didn't get done. If you tell me to do it, then it is your fault if it doesn't go right.
Have you ever heard these words or experienced these attitudes? Covert narcissists are SO good at dodging responsibility.
I used to wonder why he wouldn’t even choose the restaurant for our dinner. Many years later, I discovered that he wouldn’t choose so that nothing could ever be his fault. Why would he not make the plans for our vacation? But yet he would be so mad at me for the plans I made. He would not make the plans so that nothing would ever be his fault. And yet he would be mad at me because everything was my fault.
He didn’t help do the chores around the house because he didn’t want to do it wrong and make me mad. So he just did nothing! In his mind, then I could not be mad at him because he didn’t do anything wrong.
Blame shifting is a common weapon for a covert narcissist. If you are listening to this today - stop taking the blame for their faults. Stop taking responsibility for their stuff. You are not doing them or yourself any favors. They have their life to live. They have their own to answer for. Don’t let them lay this on your shoulders anymore!!
Self-Regulation Skills for Our Kids
Brinkmanship: The Crazy-Making Skills of a Covert Narcissist (Special Throwback Episode)
What About the Kids?
Taking the Scariness out of the Idea of Divorce: Interview with Eleanor Marks
Devalue Your Abuser
Q&A with Debbie Mirza Part 3 - When Their Image Looks So Good
Breaking the Trauma Bond
Q&A with Debbie Mirza Part 2 - How to Move On
Development of a Trauma Bond
Q&A with Debbie Mirza - How to Heal
Vulnerable Narcissists, a Contradiction of Terms
A Grenade Inside a Tank (Special Throwback Episode)
Seeing Your Own Reactive Abuse
4 Hooks that Covert Narcissists Use to Rope You back in Once Again (Special Throwback Episode)
When I Actually Filed, Part Two
The Bone Dry Exhaustion of Life with a Covert Narcissist (Special Throwback Episode)
I Want Out! Now What? Part One
Interview About Covert Narcissism (Special Throwback Episode)
The Wounds from Childhood
Just Hard to Relax - Living in a Courtroom with a Covert Narcissist (Special Throwback Episode)
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