I Feel Snitty with Craig Rozniecki
News:Politics
"Griftin'" (to the tune of Clarence Carter's "Strokin'")
When he’s not grabbing butts
And mute, judging stuff
He be griftin’
Morning, noon, insurrection
He be griftin’
He grifts from the living
And then he grifts from the dead
He’ll grift from anyone on this planet or the next
He be griftin’
He’s ‘bout to sell somethin’
How much money are you willing to give him?
Would you buy a quarter for a quarter-mill?
Would you give up your farm for a lifetime of Swiss cheese?
He’s ‘bout to sell you this
“Trade your cows for a gallon of milk”
He’s ‘bout to sell you this
“Give me 15 million and I’ll stop windmill cancer”
He ‘members when his mistress was diagnosed with windmill cancer
He started a GoFundMe; laughed; and said, “April Fool’s, y’all”
He’s griftin’, yeah, he always does, he be griftin’
He grifts from the living
And then he grifts from the dead
He’ll grift from anyone on this planet or the next
He be griftin’
He’s ‘bout to sell somethin’
Would you believe anything he tells ya?
That a knife was a sandwich?
Jesus was a white man?
A robe was a puppy?
Or how about that he and his wife are all cute and innocent?
‘Member, no puppy is full of that much sh*t
He spews it every which way
Yeah, he’s griftin’
He be griftin’
He grifts from the living
And then he grifts from the dead
He’ll grift from anyone on this planet or the next, sh*t
He be griftin’
Now, when this guy starts dealin’, I mean stealin’
He doesn’t care who in the hell he’s hurtin’
Because a creepy smile appears when this happens
Whenever that creepy smile appears, we do start dealin’
We say, “Clarence Thomas, Clarence Thomas, Clarence Thomas
Clarence Thomas, f*ck you, Clarence Thomas”
Other day: “Celebratin’ Christmas early!”
“Gonna get me a grift box and grift certificate”
Went to the store to screw people over
He held a box with a blank certificate
Said, “Hundredth donor gets the prize; you’ll be surprised as…” Woo!
He be griftin’… Cloak and dagger
He be griftin’
He grifts from the living
And then he grifts from the dead
He’ll grift from anyone on this planet or the next, sh*t
He be griftin’
He be griftin’… Cloak and dagger
He be griftin’, oath
He be griftin’
And he grifts from the rich
And he grifts from the poor
He grifts from everyone
He even grifts from his whores, ooh
He be griftin’
He be griftin’
He be griftin’
Books
https://www.amazon.com/Craig-Rozniecki/e/B00JBQ95LO
https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki
https://www.facebook.com/AuthorCraigRozniecki/
Blog
https://thekind-heartedsmartaleck.blogspot.com/
YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOPLDCBGkbzDh0PMUneNQ3A
Dissecting a Rat Named Tim Boyd
Trial & Terror
”GQP” (parody based on the Naughty By Nature song, ”O.P.P.”)
The Made in 1776 Commission Report
The Day That Democracy Stood Still
A New Year With Hopes, Dopes, and Dopes’ Hopes: Part Duh
”The Cokehead” (parody based on the Steve Miller Band’s song, ”The Joker”)
”Coal In the Stocking” (parody based on the Black Keys’ song, ”Gold On the Ceiling”)
”November Pain” (parody based on the Guns ’N’ Roses song, ”November Rain”)
”Run, Duck, and Hide” (parody based on the Green Day song, ”Hitchin’ a Ride”)
”No Thanks, No Thanks” (parody based on the Frank Sinatra song, ”New York, New York”)
”Trumpers in the Cold” (parody based on The Doors’ song, ”Riders On the Storm”)
”Dotard” (parody based on the Smash Mouth song, ”All Star”)
”Debunk You in a Heartbeat” (parody based on the Def Leppard song, ”Miss You in a Heartbeat”)
”The Best Words On Earth” (parody based on the Marilyn Manson song, ”The Last Day On Earth”)
”Yuge” (parody based on the Better Than Ezra song, ”Good”)
”Tangerine” (parody based on the Bush song, ”Glycerine”)
”Ready to Take Us Back Again” (parody based on the Barry Manilow song, ”Ready to Take a Chance Again”)
”Wrong Way” (parody based on the Frank Sinatra song, ”My Way”)
”Stab Your Back” (parody based on the Bobby Darin song, ”Mack the Knife”)
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